"Words of wisdom"

Here are some of the comments that have been shared with me over the past couple of weeks.

1) "Remember to be a lady because folks in the Windy City don't speak Southern."
- Mom, (advice to me for an upcoming trip to Chicago.
Sigh. Good times. Good times.)

2) "Not for the faint of heart. Bring all offers."
- Realtor Remarks for a foreclosed home on the MLS.
(Apparently, the sellers took the toilets out of the house when they moved, too. Light bulbs, I understand. But toilets? Really?)

3) "No matter how tough life gets, a bag of M&M's is going to see you through. It won't solve the problem, but it will help."
- Said to me from an inspirational, multi-million dollar agent in my office.

4) "Outrageous! Cats are living with Dogs!"
- FOX News banner

Rates are going up! The DOW is down 300 points!
Less than three weeks to the election!
40% off at Jessie's Jacket Junction!
You know, with headlines like these, I'm going to stop at CVS for some M&Ms.
Can I get a witness?

"Get your jumpsuit on. Let's crawl!"

That's what the "Queen Bee" said to me as I walked in for the termite inspection on Xena's house.
I looked at her and said, "But I just got my hair done. If I wanted bugs in my hair, I would have come over here on my Harley!"

Of course, the Queen Bee was kidding me. As part of the inspection, she crawls underneath the house to look for activity and damage from termites. "I've been doing this for 31 years. I think like a termite," she says proudly.

Interesting. How does a termite think? Is there such a thing as a Homer Simpson termite: "Mmmmm, wooooood fraaaaaame house." Or because they are "hip downtown termites" do they turn their nose up if it isn't "FAB-Oh!" wood to snack on and other termites can see them snacking?